Just the books that I've dipped into today. Joy leaves me very quickly and I don't know why. It isn't usually brought on by negative thoughts and it is replaced by a complete lack of motivation rather than misery. I don't think other people experience depression in the same way that I do. The feel good emotion that we get when we are feeling okay is what is missing and it always has been. There's a difference between feeling sad and feeling whatever it is that I do and whatever it is it alienates me not just from others but also from people with depression. I can smile when I am feeling nothing and I can find something amusing when I am feeling nothing but I still feel nothing even when it doesn't look this way. It is getting better but I worry that things are now the best that they could be. I am in the library at half past ten at night and on all of the six floors there is likely no more than fifteen people still working at computers. I can not see ou...
Books, thoughts and experiences
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